Rock 'N' Roll Singer: The Uncensored Confessions
by bubblebuttsbabe
Summary: AU Fic - to an extent. Jude Harrison is the Diva. Tommy Quincy is the Bad Boy. Individually, they are the two hottest movers and shakers of the entertainment industry. Together, they are a bomb waiting to explode. Full Summary inside.
1. Premise: Important Information

**A/N**: I don't want to say much because what comes below this should explain everything (I hope!). If you have any questions…drop me a note. I'll try to give you the best answer possible.

I've written quite a bit on this story already, so that's always good. Especially since I'm adding this to the list of about 3 other fics I'm currently working on (but I only have one of them posted besides this one).

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**Rock 'N' Roll Singer: The Uncensored Confessions**

Premise

Characters:

The Voice: Jude Harrison

The Body: Tommy Quincy

Synopsis:

Jude Harrison is the Diva; the girl every girl wants to be friends with, the girl every boy wants to date and/or bang (usually both). Tommy Quincy is the Bad Boy; the guy every girl wants to take back home, not just to meet their mother, the guy every guy wants to hang with so they could be introduced to his groupies. Individually, they are the two hottest movers and shakers of the entertainment industry; they'd make Brangelina look like a kindergarten assignment, if they became a couple. Together, they are a bomb waiting to explode; not an A-bomb, a Jommy bomb. They have been given a project proposal; to work together. Now all anyone has to do is sit and wait and see what happens.

Writing:

Every chapter (most likely) will be a confession. You will know if it is by the title; it will say "The (something): (name of chapter)" or something to that effect. If it doesn't have something like that, then it will be in the third person and you'll see the "behind-the-scenes" stuff. The first person POV will depend on who the confession is from; **Jude's confession will either be The Diva or The Voice and Tommy's confession will either be The Bad Boy or The Body**. Characters that I haven't mentioned will be introduced throughout the story and I'm not writing them in this because their role in the story is pretty much the same as on the show; I know I will make up some characters, but only when the time comes for them in the story will you know about them.

Oh, I almost forgot, this story will be in two parts (the first one is _Introducing_ and the second one is still untitled…sorry!)

Disclaimer:

I don't own anything Instant Star related. If I own something, I'll let you know; if I don't say it, then you know it's someone else's. The way the story is written is taken from the book "6X: The Uncensored Confessions"; it will be very similar in style and slightly in plot.


	2. Part 1: Introducing Tommy and Jude

**A/N: **This is supposed to look as if it would be included on a DVD. Just in case you were wondering.

**Disclaimer**: The idea for this style is from a YA novel titled, _6X: The Uncensored Confessions_.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

PART ONE

_Introducing: Tommy Quincy and Jude Harrison!_

Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer  
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll star  
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer  
I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll,  
A rock 'n' roll star

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: AC/DC**

How did they find me here  
What do they want from me  
All of these vultures hiding  
Right outside my door  
I hear them whisperin'  
They're tryin' to ride it out  
Cause they've never gone this long  
Without a kill before

**VULTURES: JOHN MAYER**

Hey, yeah.  
Here come the jesters, one, two, three.  
It's all part of my fantasy,  
I love the music and I love to see the crowd,  
Dancing in the aisles and singing out loud, yeah.

**ROCK 'N' ROLL FANTASY: BAD COMPANY**

Rock and roll, hey  
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?  
I need something to sing about  
Rock and roll, hey  
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?  
Give me something to sing about

**CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH: PARAMORE**

What do you want? What do you want?  
I want rock 'n' roll, alright!  
Long live rock 'n' roll, oh yeah

Rock of ages, Rock of ages  
Still rollin', keep a-rollin'  
Rock of ages, Rock of ages  
Still rollin', rock 'n' rollin'

**ROCK OF AGES: DEF LEPPARD**

I'm gonna try, try  
Gonna try  
Try to be myself

**TRY: JOHN MAYER**

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it  
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free  
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

I want my, I want my, I want my MTV

**MONEY FOR NOTHING: DIRE STRAITS**

Well, we're big rock singers, we got golden fingers and we're loved everywhere we go  
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth at ten thousand dollars a show  
We take all kinds of pills, that give us all kind of thrills but the thrill we've never known  
Is the thrill that'll get you when you get your picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone, wanna see my picture on the cover  
Wanna buy five copies for my mother (Yeah!)  
Wanna see my smilin' face, on the cover of The Rolling Stone

**THE COVER OF THE ROLLING STONE: DR. HOOK AND THE MEDICINE SHOW**


	3. C1: BodyVoice: Botched Confessions

**A/N: **Here is the first confession. I hope you like it!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter One

"Botched Confessions"

"So, Jude. This is going to be the intro to the DVD, so it's gonna be your first confession. Say what you feel. I'll tell you when to start. Okay. _Now_!" the man behind the camera told me. I looked at the camera and smiled.

"So this is my first confessional. I honestly don't know what to say because this is so new to me. I guess I should say that I am really happy to be doing this project with Tommy Quincy because it'll be a good chance for everyone to see me in a different light, that I am not the diva everyone sets me out to be."

I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw him walk in. This was not how it was suppose to happen. It was suppose to be all me. "Um, I thought I was doing this alone, Quincy?"

Tommy smiled in his usual Tommy smile. That's how I describe it. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. "They asked me to introduce this with you. Since we're doing this together. You know?"

I wanted to roll my eyes, but instead I turned my focus back onto the camera. "Yep, I can't forget that. _Doing this together_."

I felt Tommy put his hand on the arm of my chair. "Scoot over, Girl."

I looked back up at Tommy and motioned to my left. "Bring that chair over here. I am comfortable where I'm at."

Tommy smirked at me. I hate when he does that. You'll see what I mean. "So much for not being a diva, right?"

I also hate when he calls me a diva. It's not true! "I am not! I am not. It's just a chair."

Tommy looked at me knowingly. "Exactly. It's just a chair."

I couldn't repress the rolling of my eyes any longer. "Whatever."

Tommy pulled the chair over to me and set it down. Right next to me. Cause we love being in the same room together, let alone practically in the same chair. "So like you were saying."

Exactly. _I_ was saying. Not you. "Yeah. Like I was saying. Tommy and I are really happy to be doing this project together. It'll be a good chance for the world to see us in our element."

"Yeah. This DVD is packed with first-hand confessions from the two of us that are un-edited, un-censored, and un-scripted. It will be real and in your face. We don't even know what we're talking about yet, that's how crazy it's gonna be. I do know that it'll give you lots of insight on the two of us, the things we do, and the business or the bizz as we, industry folks, call it."

The "bizz" certainly knows how to torment me, don't they? "_ANYWAY_, you'll get to see all of the action as if you were there. It should be loads of fun and excitement. We hope you enjoy this as much as we will while we're making it!"

"'Til next time, we'll see you on the flip side!"

"Ciao!"

"Thanks Tommy and Jude. That was great!" the man behind the camera said to us.

Tommy and I walked out of the confessional and into the studio lobby. "Who the hell says _flip side_?" I asked Tommy.

"Only a diva would say_Ciao_!" Tommy rebutted.

"I am not a diva," I retorted. I'm not! Really!

"Keep telling that to yourself. Maybe one day it'll be true," Tommy advised.

"Bite me!" I exclaimed. I know! I totally walked into that one.

"Gladly! Just tell me where," Tommy responded. I told you! It was a stupid move on my part, I know.

"Argh!" I screamed at Tommy. He is so infuriating.

"Right back at ya, babe," Tommy said, smirking.

I walked right into the studio next to us, never giving Tommy a response, and locked the door. This is going to be a long process. I must have been psychotic when I said yes to this deal.

* * *

**A/N: **This is one of the few times you will see them both together (in a confession). And if they are together…it will mostly be in third person, but I didn't make this one that, as you can see.

**A/N 2**: The first solo confession (which is the next chapter) is going to be from Jude.


	4. C2: The Voice: Approached

**A/N:** Thank you so much for reading! I have this entire fic planned so I know exactly how things will turn out, but it's getting to that point that is always the tricky part so I hope you like what happens.

This confession was written awhile back and I've read over the ones that I have completed thus far. With that being said, I haven't changed them. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I guess we will have to see.

Anyway, this is **the first confession from Jude**.

**THANKS**:

anothercasualty: Thank you! I read that book and then eventually the idea came to me, so I hope it works! I'm excited to write more. Awww…yay! LOL. I hope to have Don't Stand… updated next week, if I can ever sit down and get the next chapter finished. Thank you! I'll try. Thank you for loving this!

HopelessRomantic984: Thank you! I had to start them out that way. They really really don't want to work together…as you will see even more. :D Jude attracted to Tommy? WHAT?! Maybe… :D Thank you! Here's more.

zanessafangrl: Thank you for loving this. Yes, I agree. LOL.

chocolateelephantz: LOL. I had to find a couple to compare them to and they seemed like the "it" couple to work with. Because I think in this fic…they are just that. Thank you!

chocolateelephantz: LOL! I've always wanted to use that line. I don't think I've used in any of my fics, until now. Maybe it's cause I always get that response. For some reason "bite me" and I are really good friends. Thank you. I'm updating now!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Two

"Approached"

You don't even know this is happening. No one does. But you will. Soon enough, I know. I know how it's going to go. _Tommy and Jude? OH MY! Are they together? How long? Why? When? Where? How?_

Puh-lease. No thank you. You'll all know the when's, the where's, the why's soon enough, but here's a _how_.

_How_ did this all get started?

Good Question.

I wonder that myself on a daily basis. I think you would too if you worked with them and him.

Them and him? Oh. Them is the crew and him is, well, you guessed it. Lil' Tommy Q. But he doesn't like being called that anymore. It's_Tommy Quincy_. Whatever, Mr. Bandana.

Anyway, _How_, you ask?

Simple.

One day, about a month ago, I walked into my manager Georgia's office to discuss a special song I was working on for my Greatest Hits album. I know, it's insane. My Greatest Hits. I never imagined I'd be able to say that, but I can and do. Quite often I might add. My Greatest Hits. My Greatest Hits. My Greatest Hits. My Greatest Hits! My Greatest Hits! My Greatest Hits!

Sorry, but you were warned.

Anyway, I walked in there and let me say, if I had know what was going to come out of her mouth, I would have turned my ass right around and locked myself in Studio C until she agreed that it was a joke. That's what I thought it was. A joke. But I can sadly confirm, it's not. Not at all.

So when you hear on the radio or read in a tabloid or see on some entertainment news show sometime soon that I, Jude Harrison, am working with Tommy Quincy, you won't fall out of your seat laughing your ass off because you think it's a joke. Because it's not. I wish. But it's not.

So like I was saying, I went into Georgia's office and she was talking on the phone, very happily might I add. That should have been my first sign, but I walked into the lion's den, unprotected. I sat my butt in one of the leather chairs in front of her desk. They are so comfortable! I love them! I have a couple at home, I love them so much!

Anyway, she got off the phone and before I could even get a word in, she said, "I have an amazing opportunity for you, Jude!"

I am not one to pass up opportunities. I think that's stupid. I would be kicking myself in the ass later if I didn't take up the opportunities that have placed themselves in front of me: Instant Star, The Tonight Show, The Grammys, the guest spot on Degrassi, you can catch my drift. So I did what I thought was a good idea, I said, "I'm in. Whatever it is, you can count me in. I'm sure it's an awesome idea."

Well, you know that VH1 show titled, "Awesomely Bad (insert lame song theme here)"?

Exactly. This idea falls under that.

So after I practically agreed to the idea without knowing what it was, Georgia looked at me wide-eyed and said, "Wow, Jude. That's very nice of you but-"

Stupid me, I cut her off and said, "No, Georgia, you know how I am about opportunities. No buts."

And she said, "Even if the opportunity deals with an ex-boy bander?"

I said, "As long as it's not Lil' Tommy Q, I don't think it'll be that bad."

Then Georgia's face turned about the shade of a piece of printer paper and it hits me, I am an idiot! A complete and udder idiot!

"It _is_ Tommy," Georgia said, but I didn't hear her. I kept picturing the things I was going to do to punish myself once I left the office. Run over my foot? Slap myself with a ruler? Eat a cookie that Sadie made last night? Hold my breath until I turn red in the face? Nope. Nothing seemed to suffice. What was worse was that nothing was going to get me out of the deal I had already made. I'm not like that.

I am a man of my word. I mean, woman. You know what I mean.

"Where do I sign up?"

Georgia smiled at me. "Jude, this is a really good idea. It'll be great for your image and musically-" Uh huh. Yep. Yeah. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Blah Blah Blah. Do I look like I care?

Whatever.

That's how it started. Happy now?

And you know how I said, "No Buts"? Well, here's a but for you:

JUDE IS A COMPLETE ASS!!!!!

Is that a big enough but for you?

I think so.

* * *

**A/N**: I forgot. The next confession comes from Tommy. 


	5. C3: The Body: Approached

**A/N: **So, I read your reviews and the wheels starting turning because if I was truly honest with myself (which I usually am), the chapters that I have written…well, they – for lack of a better word – suck! So I am doing major revamping because I want this story to be exactly that – a story. I mean, I know what I want to happen, but I want substance, not some lame fluff (not that fluff is bad or anything…but that's all I see these chapters as right now and that's wayyyyyy too much fluff for me).

So I'm re-writing here and there so that I get exactly what I want out of each chapter. It shouldn't be too bad. Anyway…here is the next chapter; your first look at Tommy.

Oh, and I wanted to apologize for this chapter being short. I think the first couple of them are really short just because you're being introduced but as the storyline goes on things will be much more detailed and each confession will be longer. Just thought you should know.

I'm re-vamping the next one, so I might post it tomorrow if I like it. :D

**THANKS**:

anothercasualty: I know! Yes, it has officially begun, but I guess you could say the first couple of chapters are more introduction than anything else. Thank you! Tommy's isn't as humorous, but you do get to see more of him.

JommyIS4ever: YAY! Um, what they are working on is something. LOL. Tommy says it in this chapter, but you find out more about it in the next one.

BeautyxinxthexBreakdown: Thanks! Now you don't have to wait. Me too. LOL. I'm posting.

HopelessRomantic984: LOL. You aren't. I promise. You are correct all across the board. Exactly. Your speculating skills are right. Thank you. Here his is. ;D

Princess of the Rogues: LOL. Don't be confused. Here's the gist. You have Tommy and Jude, who are both mega stars (and because of the background information you haven't been given yet…they aren't fond of each other). So their managers…Darius and Georgia…ask them to join forces and work together. These confessions are the process of that work. That's basically it…with some other stuff thrown in. ;D LOL. I will try to. And I was finally able to update Don't Stand… I need to start working on the next chapter though. I only have a little bit written for it.

bbybty9: Now you don't have to wait! It's here!

chocolateelephantz: LOL. Thanks! I try. ;D Now you don't have to wait. His is here! There will be, I jut thought of something where you will see the two of them together. That should be interesting. Thanks!

Carlz02: YAY! LOL. I know what you mean…you read a new one and then if it even piques your interest a little, you've now got something else to follow and read. It's tiring! LOL. Thank you!

ForbiddenWords: LOL! YAY! I'm glad someone has read it! Have you read the sequel? I didn't like it as much as the first, but it was still interesting. I loved The Body aka: Wynn. I don't know what it is about her, I just do. ;D LOL. TommyA/B? Maybe. ;D I'm posting now!

LeytonTilEnd: I will. Thanks! Yeah, these first couple chapters are ore introduction than anything. I hope you like it!

snowriter: Thanks! I'm posting now.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Three

"Approached"

I wish I could tell you that being asked to do this "thing" was an amazing thing, but a part of me knows that'd be a lie. And I am not a liar. At least, not all the time, but that's for another confession.

Darius called me into his office one day last month and said, flat out, "I have a new project for you."

I said, "Cool. What is it?"

He said, "You will be creating an album."

I think I might have lost a couple brain cells after that. Excuse my French but, No shit, Sherlock! What the hell do you think I've been doing the past 10 years of my life? Sitting on my ass? Um, no. My ass looks too good for me to have been sitting on it for the past 10 years. I was shaking it for part of them, but don't remind me.

Anyway, I needed clarification, so I asked D, "But?"

"But you'll be working with someone," D said.

"Who?" I asked.

D looked at me intensely. I don't think I've ever seen him look at me like that before. Well, except that one time, but that's for another confession too.

Then he said, "Jude Harrison."

You know how I said, I_think_ I lost a couple brains cells last time? Well, I_KNOW_ I lost some this time. For a split second I almost thought D was joking, but if you know D at all, then you know he never jokes. And if you think he is, then you are seriously mistaking his tone or facial expressions for a gas bubble because he does not joke. You have been warned.

I smiled and said, "Cool."

D stared at me for a couple seconds to see if I was lying, but after working with him for the past 10 years, I've gotten pretty good at getting past the D lie-detector test and he smiled. That's a good sign. Smiles are always good.

Anyway, he said, "Good. That's what I like to hear. It's been all set up. You'll meet for the first time next week."

I smiled and excused myself and then spilled the news to my best friend, Kwest.

You may be thinking, "If you didn't want to do it, then why didn't you just tell Darius?"

Good question. Here's the thing. I've worked with Darius for so long that I've built up this trust with him and any career moves I should make. Except BoyzAttack. I can't fully give my faith to that move, but I did at one time.

Anyway, in most respects, D hasn't ever done me wrong and he knows what he's doing. Honest. He knows the business.

I handle the music.

I always do.

I always have.

That's how it's going to go.

Just you watch.

* * *

**A/N**: Next Chapter: The Voice – The First Meeting 


	6. C4: The Diva: The First Meeting

**A/N**: I didn't change much in this chapter. I kind of like it the way it is. So I'm posting. I don't think I have anything else to say. Well, that's weird. ;D

**THANKS**:

letitrain810: YAY for new readers! Thank you. She is. But eventually she'll change. They are. LOL. I hope so. :D Thank you, now you don't have to wait.

chocolateelephantz: LOL. Probably one of my favorite cursing statements. I can usually control my Sherlocks though. ;D Thank you! Here's the new one!

**Disclaimer**: I own DownBeat (not the word, but the way it is used in this story). A down beat (a musical term) is the first beat in a measure and its' also the loudest, I thought it fit Darius' personality; always trying to be the best, being the first, and what have you.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Four

"The First Meeting"

The first meeting. I'd like to say that everything went smoothly and quick and calm and there wasn't anything said that shouldn't have been said, but I think as you can already tell, it was far from that, Ladies and Gents. Far from it.

First off, I didn't even want to go. I mean honestly, since I am allowed to be honest; one of the only things I have that Darius or Georgia don't have control over, I wanted to sit in MY studio and write MY lyrics with MY people and on MY time. But no. Meeting of the minds over there decided that since individually Tommy and I are jackpots, they figured they better snatch up what's been in front of their faces for the past, what five years? So the morning of said meeting, I was not the nicest person to say the least. Although everyone thinks they know how I am because they read that tabloid shit, but go ahead, think whatever you want, believe whatever you read. I don't care. Not anymore.

So that morning, I had to get up at 8 to be at DownBeat at 9. It was horrible. I haven't gotten up that early since I finished high school, three years ago! Honestly? Do they even know me at all? Obviously not because I had to fetch my own coffee! We stopped at Starbucks and I got lots of winks from the wanna-be Abercrombie model barista at the cash register. Off the record, I scored a cinnamon twist AND a rice krispie for free. I hope he didn't get fired for that because that would have sucked, but then I guess he shouldn't have done it. Oh well.

So I get to DownBeat with five minutes to spare and we head to the board room. Who actually calls it that anymore? Is Darius trying to be the Canadian Donald Trump? Well, if he is, he's already messing it up. Where's the hair, man? Honestly, if you are gonna even try, you gotta go balls to the wall, I say. That's a mantra I have.

Anyway, we get to the board room and everyone is already there. And I mean everyone. Tommy. Kwest. E.J. Portia. Liam. The works. And they are laughing and talking and so animated. How is it that anyone can be functioning at 8:57 in the morning? Honestly. Darius comes in after Georgia and I sit down next to each other, with our lawyers; Tommy's and mine, I mean. My lawyer sat next to me and Tommy's sat next to him, Darius sat between them. Then the meeting started.

The truth? I hardly heard one word until I heard the sentence, "She will be working with Tommy under my supervision here at DownBeat with my staff." WHAT?!

I think I choked on my cinnamon twist at that point. I thought this was going to be simple, like finding a Betsey Johnson dress among Chanel at a trunk show. Seriously. I think I missed the workshop on "When working with Darius, simple is not part of the vocabulary." I looked up and Tommy was smiling. Like he knew I was pissed. I hate when he does that. Like he thinks he knows how I work, what makes me tick. Well, FYI, Lil' Tommy Q, you don't! You never did!

So I swallowed my pride and listened, very closely from then on out. I figured whatever was being done at the moment could be undone later.

The gist was that Tommy and I would collaborate on an album, a solos and duets kind of thing. Both of us producing and singing. Musically, I think it's an awesome idea. Personally? You don't want to know what I think. There are too many profanities in my thoughts. Instead I will say this: I hate it.

The "meeting" was over fairly quickly. The only thing left to do was sign the contracts. I won't say how much I was getting paid to work with Tommy; I'll just say it was chump change and I knew and Darius knew and Georgia knew and I'm pretty sure Tommy knew I deserved more. Kwest, E.J., Portia, and Liam left and then there were six. I spoke pretty quickly and the drama followed from there.

I told Georgia what I thought about working only at DownBeat. She in turn told me, "Jude, this is a good chance for you to see a studio at its best. I know you think working at G-Major has been great, but you don't know what else is out there until you go." What is this? Summer camp? No. It's a freakin' studio. Who cares? Wait. I do. Fair enough. I just wanted the playing field to be level. That's it. I didn't want either of us to have any leverage because I figured it would just cause more drama than needed and honestly, I've been working in this industry long enough to know how people act.

"I'm not signing," I told the five of them. Four pairs of eyes looked back at me, like they wanted to kill me right then and there; the other pair just smiled, not a smile with his mouth, but with his eyes. Of course, it was Tommy.

"Excuse me?" Darius and Georgia responded in unison. I wasn't going to back down after I had already opened my mouth, so I forged ahead. Remember, I am a woman of my word.

"I want my thoughts heard before I sign." It was simple, hear me out, give me a little compromise and I might do what you want; don't and well, anyone who read the article in Stars on the D&G fashion show knows what can happen. Need I say more? I didn't think so, but apparently for them I did. So I continued.

Georgia let out a breath she had been holding in and Tommy slouched lower in his chair as if he was waiting for the show to start. Whatever, pretty boy.

"I don't think this arrangement is fair," I said and all anyone did was look at me, so I kept going.

"I don't think we should only get to work here. I want to be able to feel comfortable when I work and I don't when I'm here. I want a neutral space. Somewhere simple and untarnished."

"You are passing up an opportunity to work in MY studio?" Darius asked me and Tommy chuckled slightly.

I rolled my eyes at Tommy and said "Yes" to Darius.

Darius nodded his head and said, "Okay. Done. I have the perfect place. It's about an hour away and I was going to use it for another studio, but you guys can use it to work on this album. I think it's a great idea-"

"Wait. WHAT?!" Tommy yelled, sitting up straight in his chair. "I like it here. I want to work at DownBeat. Just because she comes in here and opens her mouth, things change? How fair is that?"

"It's completely fair. Once this album is over, you can go back to your precious DownBeat and I'll go back to G-Major. This isn't forever you know." I told him, smugly.

"Fine," Tommy pouted.

Under my breath I said, "Cause honestly, I couldn't handle forever." Of course I wasn't quiet enough. I guess that's what you get for having a voice.

"Do you always have to play the Diva card?" Tommy asked. I was confused. Where did _that_ come from?

"This has nothing to do with being a Diva!" I told Tommy.

"So you admit it then? You _are_ a Diva," Tommy pressed.

"I will only admit I am a Diva when you admit you are a jackass playboy," I rebutted.

"But I thought that's what you went for? I mean after Jared-" Tommy was cut short, trying to throw my disastrous love life back into my face. Jared Leto? Honestly Tommy, I thought you could have done better.

"Hey! Can we leave the drama outside the studio?" Georgia shouted. I had almost forgotten she was there. I pretty much had forgotten that anyone was actually in the room, but Quincy and I.

"Fine," we pouted. I think it's a singer thing. We pout. It's all about the mouth, I guess.

"Are we done? I'd like to get you guys in the studio in one piece," Darius mentioned.

I almost forgot. The Big One. "One more thing. I want more," I told them.

"You always want-" Tommy started and I had had enough. He obviously didn't know I hadn't had enough coffee.

"Fuck you!" I shouted. Darius just smiled. He is weird that way. I'm glad I work with Georgia.

"JUDE!" Georgia scolded me. I hate when people say my name like that. I feel like I'm five years old again and I'm in trouble for writing on the bathroom wall with my mom's lipstick.

"Sorry," I said.

"More of what?" Darius asked. I had almost forgotten what I had asked. Almost.

"Money. This is chump change and you all know it," I said, looking everyone in the eye.

"A girl after my own heart," Darius smiled again.

"Should I leave so you guys can get it on?" Tommy asked, acting like a jealous boyfriend. Which he isn't. He won't be. Ever. I can promise you that. Eww.

"Children should be seen, not heard," I said, smirking.

"Quincy is just having a bad hair day," Darius commented.

"I am not!" Quincy exclaimed liked he was five years old.

Darius looked back at the contract and said, "If I add another zero to this, will you be happy?"

I smiled and said, "I think I can manage." I looked over at Tommy who was sulking.

"While you're at it, you should add one to his too. He'll need the extra hair gel." Tommy just looked at me. He was saying sorry and thank you with his eyes. Not that I can read his eyes. They just – Never mind.

"Alright Mr. Mills, are we all set?" my lawyer asked.

D looked between the two of us before answering. "Jude? Quincy? Yes."

My lawyer placed my contract in front of me and handed me a gold-plated pen. It was heavy. That's what I remember. The pen. Not actually signing. I think I was too nervous. Surprisingly. But I get nervous during a lot of things. But it's a happy nervous. Usually.

I sold my soul the moment I signed my Instant Star contract five years ago. This time, I think I sold what was left of me.

I don't think I'll ever get that back, but that's the price of fame.

* * *

**A/N**:Next Chapter: The Bad Boy – The BoyzAttack-er

You get to learn a little more about Tommy.


	7. C5: The Bad Boy: The BoyzAttacker

**A/N**: So I've been sick, which you already know about from the Don't Stand…update. Anyway, because I was sick, I really haven't looked at these chapters all that much. But I'm posting anyway. You'll get Tom's and then I'm gonna glance over Jude's and then probably post that one too. So there should be two chapters. I hope that makes up for my sickness. :D

**THANKS**:

chocolateelephantz: LOL. I'm glad. That's what I want. But these next ones aren't that humorous…if at all. Sorry. I loved writing all the lines you said. Thanks! No, there will be fluff. But not too much. There is an actual storyline here. LOL. I'm very glad you loved it! Thanks so much! Posting now!

alexzrules: He so would too. :D Thank you! I'm posting more now.

HopelessRomantic984: I totally understand. Thank you! It was mine too. There is a history. You'll find out more about it when they talk about each other. Thanks, I'm glad the balance is there! Here is more.

letitrain810: She is. At least she has become that way. He is…to an extent. It's just because they both have such big personalities. Thank you! Here is the next chapter!

Carlz02: Yay! I'm glad you love this! Aww…yay for good days! I loved the last chapter too. I just had to throw that in there. Tom and his hair. I hope you like the next chapter!

mazkalns: Thank you! There's a reason for that…obviously. Exactly!

bbybty9: I'm coming…I'm coming. Promise. :D

bigsis0829: They are! It's uncanny. I'm posting now!

**Disclaimer**: Nothing.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Five

The BoyzAttack-er

Hi. I'm Tommy Quincy.

But you already knew that, didn't you? If not, I'd be wondering why you were watching this.

Anyway, I'm supposed to tell you about myself. What do you want to know?

I think the real question is what am I willing to admit to?

My number of conquests?

More than the number of fingers and toes I have. Times a lot.

What's my real last name?

You'll only find that out if you know my favorite place. If you know what that is, then you should already know my last name, shouldn't you?

Have I ever been in love?

Maybe once. Maybe.

Who was she?

She was a part of my past and that's where she will stay.

How much of my childhood is real?

I _am_ an only child. My parents _did_ divorce a long time ago and my dad _did_ remarry. My mom _did_ die a couple years ago. The usual. Cancer. My dad hated the music business and basically disowned me after I joined BoyzAttack. He moved to the U.S. and started over after that. I haven't heard from him since and I don't care to, so if you meet me, don't tell me you've been in contact with him. I'll just walk away and seem like a gigantic ass. But I won't care either. I want nothing to do with him.

Although, I should credit him for something. All the shit he put me through makes for some great music. Don't you think?

What do I think of Jude?

AHAHAHAHA! Yeah, that's actually another confession on its own. You're gonna have to wait for that. Sorry.

BoyzAttack?

Well, I happen to care about that. Honestly. I truly believe without having been a part of that I wouldn't be where I am today, BUT it didn't make me who I am today. If that makes sense to you at all. My logic usually doesn't make sense to anyone but me. It's cool.

BoyzAttack doesn't define me, but it's a part of my past and I'm happy to leave it there. In my past.

Chaz and the guys don't talk to me anymore. I understand. The way I handled things was a bit primadonna, childish, and very Hollywood. Do I regret it? Hell no!

I'm sorry, but even though I started out in a boy band, I knew there was no in way in hell I was going to end my career being in one. That would just be stupid.

I'm sorry to disappoint any fans, but I am honestly happy to have been a part of BoyzAttack, it's just that's not the _only_ thing I wanted to be remembered for and you have to understand that to understand where I am at now in my life.

I have grown up. I am not Lil' Tommy Q anymore. I think that I shutter every time I hear that name still. It's a part of my past.

I am Tommy Quincy now.

Thanks for understanding.

* * *

**A/N**:Next Chapter: The Voice – The Instant Star

You get to learn a little more about Jude.


	8. C6: The Voice: The Instant Star

**A/N**: Something I forgot, but that isn't as necessary as it is funny. Last time I updated…I realized the title of this fic was wrong. It was "Rock 'N' Singer" but I fixed it. It was suppose to have "roll" added to it. I just figured…I've been posting like a dork…and only _now_ do I realize that it's not even right. That's so me. Oh well. Here's the other chapter!

**Disclaimer**: Nothing. No Hot Tamales.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

**Chapter Six**

**The Instant Star**

There is always the cliché way of stereotyping a group or pair. Tommy and I are no different.

I'm the diva and he's the bad boy.

I get it. Those images sell records, define a culture, and create fans.

I understand it, but that doesn't mean that I have to accept it and I don't. I think it's stupid. Stereotyping is just a lazy way of not getting to know someone.

I'm The Diva.

So that must mean that I belittle people for not living up to my expectations, spend loads of money on crap that doesn't matter, and whine when things don't go my way.

Wait. I think I just described more than half the world's population on any given day.

I told you I didn't agree with stereotyping.

And Tommy?

The Bad Boy.

He must fraternize with any living, breathing woman, break their hearts when they least expect it; speed; and do all things dangerous.

And what have I described? Yeah. Any living, breathing man. And some women too.

Go figure.

So like I said, it's stupid.

You think you know me? To borrow a line from the "Diary" series on MTV. "You have no idea."

And you don't. Because you read that crap. The stuff that says Tommy and I are bad people. We aren't. Not all the time at least. I admit and I am only speaking for myself, but we all have our weaknesses and I am no exception.

The only difference is that everything I do is being plastered on a magazine or website the next day. I didn't ask for that.

I didn't.

All I asked for is to sing and write music because it's what I love. I always have.

But with that comes all the other stuff. And I think I've done a pretty good job of handling it.

Anyway, enough of my rant and rave. I'll get off my soapbox now.

You know who I am. Wait. Let me rephrase that. You have an _idea_ on who I am.

You know that my parents are divorced and have both remarried. You know that my sister is a fabulous fashion designer. You know that I won Instant Star five years ago. All that's great, but WHO AM I?

I am a singer/songwriter.

I am a girl who loves cold nights (as long as I am well-dressed because no one likes blue lips, unless that's a new trend I start, which may or may not work. I'll get back to you on that).

I live and breathe music, but as of late, you wouldn't know it. Sadly.

I am being forced to work with Tommy Quincy. All because of My Stupid Mouth (if you know the song, then you pretty much know what I'm talking about).

I am a hopeless romantic, but have never really given into the idea of love. It's not that I don't think it exists, I just find it hard to believe that love and I get along. I think that's my excuse for all the failed relationships I've had. That's what I tell myself at least. Or maybe it's cause I'm a big scaredy cat. Nope, I'll go with the former.

I live for Hot Tamales. They are so good! I keep a box everywhere I go for a fix. Shhhh! It's our secret. I don't think my trainer would be happy to hear that. But hey, they _are_ fat-free!

Last thing: I'm just like everyone else. The one thing we have in common? We deal with life through music.

Don't you?

I mean, has there ever been that day where your life has just gone to the toilets? And you have no freakin' clue how you're gonna get it back to good again? You turn to music.

Or when someone hurts you, you break-up with someone, a loved one dies, or you want something to energize yourself for the rest of the day?

It's music.

It heals all wounds and cures all ailments. At least that's what I tell myself.

And it's with music that I am going survive this "thing" with Quincy.

Wish me luck!

Ciao!

* * *

**A/N**:Next Chapter: The Body – The Studio

Tommy and Jude finally check out the _neutral_ studio space.


	9. C7: The Body: The Studio

**A/N**: Here's the next chapter. Sorry for the wait. I'm still revamping the next chapter.

**THANKS**:

alexzrules: I'm glad you liked the update. I thought it was something funny to add. Here is more.

anothercasualty: It's totally understandable. Yes, they are. It's a sad thing. LOL. Me too. I think that's why I added that. I'm glad you loved it.

charley07: Thank you. LOL. If it ever happens, yes.

Ocgirl687714: I'm posting now.

anothercasualty: LOL. Thanks for the review. Thank you very much!

HopelessRomantic984: Yes, they are different. They do want that, especially given the industry they are in. It should be very interesting. I am feeling better, thanks!

chocolateelephantz: LOL. Thank you!

chocolateelephantz: I know. I messed up. Oops. LOL. I hope so. No, they aren't sadly. But they will be…I think in a couple of chapters or something. Thank you for loving this!

letitrain810: Thank you! LOL. You'll see. He is…to an extent. Thank you again!

letitrain810: I'm glad you loved it. She isn't as much of a drama queen as everyone sets her up to be. LOL. Thanks! I'm glad you like her. I'm posting now!

bbybty9: I'm sorry for making you wait. Here's the next chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Seven

"The Studio"

We just had our first day at the Studio. That's what we call it because D doesn't know what to call it yet. So for now, it's just The Studio. I actually kinda think it's cool. I think that's what he should call it.

What's more surprising than the lack of a name? The fact that Jude and I didn't kill each other while we were there. Kwest and I rode together and Jude came with her dog. Oh and her sister.

I wanted to kill her dog at one point. Granted it's cute and fluffy. But it doesn't shut the hell up. A lot like its owner, if I do say. But I guess that's beside the point.

I shouldn't blame the dog, whose name is Lola by the way, but you probably already knew that.

I just wish Jude had gotten her sister Sadie's traits sometimes. She's quiet. At least she was quiet on this trip.

So here's what happened. Kwest and I got there at exactly 9, like we promised D. But who decides to make us wait? Yeah, Jude.

In the meantime, we looked around. It's got this sophisticated look. All black and white and steel. Very modern. It's nice. Actually a lot nicer than Downbeat. But don't tell D I said that.

Kwest spent most of the time mocking my ass. He thinks this entire thing that Jude and I haven't gotten ourselves into is hilarious.

"So fucking funny," he said. His words exactly.

And maybe one day, I'll be able to look back and think the same thing, but right now…I can't.

As we wandered through the studio, Jude finally decided to show up. 45 minutes late, mind you. She looked all distress, like she had more important things to do.

The moment she walked in, she said, "Let's get this over with. I have more important things to do."

Apparently I was right. I like when I'm right.

Anyway, I don't know how I 'm going to survive this thing with her. Especially if she is going to be habitually late. I mean, I would have thought she would have grown out – I mean, yeah, it drives me nuts.

So, um, Kwest and I walked around with Jude through each of the studios because they are the only things we didn't see while we waited for Jude. I was trying to be a gentleman. _Try_ being the operative word. But with Jude…I don't know.

So, there are 10 studios, each named after a musician. Each studio is designed to match the musician. I think that's my favorite part. Wait. Here's the kicker. Jude and I? We each have a studio dedicated to us. How awesome is that?

Jude's is red. Fiery red. Like her hair used to be. And it's got cameras and stars on the walls. You know like an "instant" camera. It's supposed to be a play on her Instant Star background. She thinks it's cool, but kinda corny. Although I can't blame her because she doesn't have my studio. I do know that I saw some glimmer of that girl in her though. The Instant Star winner. She looked at that studio in awe, but quickly changed back to her Diva ways. I'm not going to dwell on that anymore.

My studio? Well…

It's white. Everything is white and there is a painting of me in my white suit and bandana on one of the walls. My name is written above it. Lil' Tommy Q. I almost had an aneurysm. Whatever. It doesn't bother me, I'm cool with it.

Really.

Funny thing, BoyzAttack has their own studio too. The five of us doing the official hand grab. Yeah, spare me, please. I just know it's certain there is no way in hell I'm taking any pictures in there. Not for any amount of money.

Jude and Kwest practically peed their pants when they saw the Boyz studio. Then they started to do the actual hand grab.

It was at that point that I left and walked aimlessly through the other studios.

I was trying to be the bigger person cause Lord knows there's a whole lot of shit I could've done or said that would have made both of them cringe.

A lot.

Anyway, the studios themselves are great; they have state-of-the-art equipment and everything is brand new. It still smells like paint in some of them. Which may or may not be a bad thing considering Jude and I don't get along. Maybe if I smell enough fumes, I can feign death and she'll stop looking at me like I'm a walking disease. Cause I'm not!

I'm safe. I get checked. Promise.

So the only real bad thing is that Jude and I can't agree on which studio to use. Mine or hers. She always pulls this, "I'm better than you" shit so we can do whatever she wants.

She didn't say it this time. Or say much actually. She just glanced around, but I know what she was thinking. I can just tell.

It's in her eyes. Not that I can read them.

I just know.

So much for a _neutral_ studio space.

And since this comes down to music, it's over my dead body that I am going to let her have her reign. This is a collaboration and I am going to make sure she remembers that.

Jude watch. I mean just watch. But you too, Jude. This isn't just about you.

D left it up to us. We could use any of the studios to record in. It's just us, the studios, and this confessional. No one else. Not even him. That's insane. But he's spreading himself thin if he thinks he could control this project, so it's ours.

That's how it's gonna be. Just Jude and I. Not like that. I mean – Just us and the music. Yeah, that's better.

Just us and the music.

* * *

**A/N**:Next Chapter: The Diva – The First Song

Jude writes her first song. Not her first actual song. But, it feels like it anyway.


	10. C8: The Diva: The First Song

**A/N**: Sorry this took a while. The chapter was basically finished, but then I started working on other fics (which I'm still writing on). And then there was school and work and blah. Oh and the choosing of the song to use in this chapter. I need to vamp up Jude's part of the album. I practically have every song I want to use for Tommy, but like two for Jude. I need to think of some good music for her.

Anyway…

I think the next chapter is done…or really close so I'll take a look at it in a few minutes and if its good then I'll probably post it too. It might make up for the lack of laughs in this chapter. Sorry!

**THANKS**:

chocolateelephantz: LMAO! I could never do that to Sadie. I like her now! Tommy's funny when he wants to be. I thought the room fit him. It will always remind him of his roots. I think everyone should get checked. Especially celebrities…you don't know where they been. Thank you for loving this. It's not boring. I'm glad you liked it. THANK YOU!

charley07: Thank you for loving this. I think they fit both of them since they seem somewhat adamant about forgetting where they came from…in a sense.

ForbiddenWords: LOL. Aww…its good. But I like the first one better. Oh. Well, that always sucks. I'm sorry. I'm using a bit of the second book in this fic so if you get your hands on it, you might find out the storyline. Thank you!

HopelessRomantic984: Thank you! That's what I want them to do. They can't keep it hidden forever. And soon it'll be out in the open (I just don't remember the chapter off hand). :D There is one. Even after all the years apart…they still know each other. He does! That's the first sign. Thank you!

bbybty9: LOL. Maybe they will. Maybe they won't. Only time will tell. :D

modernxxmyth: LMAO. His eyes do it for me. And it was a split second decision. I just started writing and thought of him randomly. Plus in a way, I think it fits. He's been associated with everyone under the moon, so why not Jude too? I'm glad you approve of the choice. ;D

modernxxmyth: Yes. I hope so. Thank you!

letitrain810: LOL. Very true. There's always more. Thank you. I'm glad you are starting to fall in love. :D

**Disclaimer**: Nothing. 

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Eight

"The First Song"

So surprise surprise, I'm here early. Really early.

Like before Quincy.

I know. Something's wrong with me, right?

Well, not exactly. I just didn't want to do this in front of him. I don't want him to ask. Cause I don't know what I'd say.

So that's why I'm here.

I need to get something off of my chest. Something that has been bothering me for a while but that finally catapulted last night. Or this morning, however you want to look at it.

For awhile now, and I think you all know this, I've been using other songwriter's songs and using them as my own. Not like plagiarizing or anything, but the songs I've been singing haven't been mine.

If you've ever looked at the liner notes to my albums, the last three to be exact, you'll see that there are a total of maybe three or four songs that I've had a hand in writing.

But if you look at any of my albums from before that, they're all me.

I know you're probably thinking, "And this matters because?"

Because it does.

And this is why I even bother bringing it up.

Because this morning, I finally wrote a song. I know that's not exciting news because that's what I do, but it came at the weirdest time.

I came back from Distrikt, with Sadie and I was really tired. Usually I'm wired beyond belief, but I wasn't so I went to bed. Well, tried to. But as soon as my head hit the pillow, I got a burst of inspiration so I got up and decided to write.

I didn't go to sleep, I was so anxious. I just kept playing the night over and over in my head, but it was the usual. I don't get why it mattered. I guess that's why the song came out the way it did.

I haven't felt like that since…since I was writing my first album.

You know how they say that a runner's high is like one of the best natural highs you can get? Well, "they" have never written a song.

A song that didn't have someone else's input, that didn't have someone else's pen marks on my page.

This was all mine.

And can I just say, if felt so fucking good to have that.

I needed it.

When I first started in the business, I was all about my own stuff, never wanting to do covers or having someone else write for me.

And I loved it.

Then after a couple albums, I became a full-fledged celebrity. And that in it of itself was a full-time job.

Music became second string.

And…it is with a heavy heart that I admit that I fucked up.

Last night/this morning, I had clarity unlike any other.

I was proud of what I wrote. I believed in it. I loved it.

It's been such a long time since I've felt connected to my music.

And I don't ever want to go back.

So what I'm trying to say is that not only will this album kick ass, but I will have written it. At least some of it.

Or most of it, depending on how cooperative Quincy is.

I think I'm gonna play a part of it, just so that you a get a feel for what this album will sound like. I like to think of it as dirty rock.

I think that should be a new genre.

That'd be pretty interesting, but then I think there are some things I wouldn't want out in the music world, so maybe that's not the best idea.

Eh. Who knows?

I'll just play the damn song.

Let me get my guitar.

Hold on.

Alright. I'm good.

Here it is.

_You're always on display  
For everyone to watch and learn from  
Don't you know by now you can't turn back?  
Because this road is all you'll ever have_

_And it's obvious that you're dying, dying  
Just living proof that the camera's lying  
And open wide, cause this is your night  
So smile, cause you'll go out in style  
You'll go out in style_

Hope you liked it.

* * *

**A/N**:Next Chapter: The Bad Boy – The Writing Process

Tom talks about writing with Jude…in whispers.

(OH! Song credit: **Fences by Paramore**. I've been in love with it since Riot! came out. It's_ snappy_. :D I was so glad they played it when I went to go see them.)


	11. C9: The Bad Boy: The Writing Process

**A/N**: HA! Surprise surprise. I haven't forgotten about this. Really.

Life just got in the way and then I jacked up my computer and la la la. But the next chapter is here. And I'm reworking the one after this, which is like _The Moment of Truth_.

Anyway, here it is: Tommy talking about writing with Jude.

**Thanks:**

HopelessRomantic984: Me too. I wish more artists would admit that too. Maybe there would be better music out there. And I think Jude is so adamant about her music vs. her celebrity status that she would be the first to admit it. Yay! I'm glad you liked the song. He might…if she lets him. ;D

bbybty9: LOL. The whispers only last a few words, then he man's up.

Frayed at the Edges: I'm glad you like it and your question will be answered in the next chapter, but with that said, I think you can guess what the answer is. LOL.

alexzrules: Yes, yes she is. LOL. I'm glad you liked the song choice. I think it's great too.

modernxxmyth: Me too. Really? I've wanted to see him perform for a while, but never got the chance. I guess I'll have to see when 30 plays sometime soon. I'm glad you liked it.

SimpleMelody47: LOL. I'm glad you love it! Eventually things will calm down between them, in a way. But that won't mean the drama will stop. :D

chocolateelephantz: Thank you! I'm posting now!

letitrain810: Yeah, inspiration sparks at the oddest times. I love the song too. Here's the next chapter!

bolt from the blue: I'm glad you think this is fun! I hope you like this new chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Nine

"The Writing Process"

_Shhh! I can't talk loud. She might hear me._

_Although now that I think about it, I did lock the door so_…._ok_ay, this is good. I know you were probably wondering why the hell I was whispering in the first place.

Well, I had to hide.

From _her_.

She's driving me freakin' insane.

I mean we've been in the studio for four hours now.

And I would have thought that maybe – by some miracle of God, that we would actually have a verse or a chorus or hell, even a refrain!

But with perfectionist Jude over there, anything that comes out of either of our heads…she automatically shoots down, saying it's shit!

I mean, I know I'm a perfectionist, but I sure as hell don't remember her ever – I mean, she's worse than I am.

So much worse.

So I'm here, trying to rack my brains of some substance that may earn me a free pass to get lunch.

Because I need something to calm my nerves or that will make me sleepy so that I don't have to deal with her insanity.

I didn't think the writing process would be so hard.

I've worked with other artists before and usually it's pretty simple.

We do some exercises maybe…to get the crap out of our head and then we write.

Or we think of something we want to say or that's been troubling us and we just hit the ground running.

But Jude – I don't know what her deal is.

Heh.

Okay, that's a lie. I do. To an extent. That's if she's even thinking about what I'm thinking about.

Cryptic, I know.

But I can't say anything. I just need the past to stay in the past so we can get this album done. For everyone.

I need a beer.

What time is it?

Shit! It's only eleven. Well, they do say it's 12 'o'clock somewhere. Or is it 5?

Nevermind. Jude has rendered my brain useless.

And to think, she had people writing most of her songs up until a month ago – oops.

I mean, she _collaborated_. Yeah, that's the word.

Which is also what we're supposed to be doing right now.

But we didn't _collaborate_ when she wrote that damn song _ALL BY HERSELF_ yesterday morning and you don't hear _me_ pitching a bitch fit about lyrics or chord progression or tempo or –

Wait.

I hear her heels.

Shit!

She knows I'm here. I got to go.

I hope I'll live to see another confessional.

See ya!

* * *

**A/N**: Next Chapter: The Voice – Working With…Tommy.

How is it working with Tommy? Well, Jude's gonna tell you all about it. _Maybe_.


	12. C10: The Voice: Working With

**A/N: **I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Here is the new one. This is the last chapter that was pre-written before I messed up my laptop, so it might be a bit before I get the next one out. I'm going to start working on it tonight and see what I can get out, but I don't really know how it's going to go yet.

I hope you like this one. Jude finally lets you in. :D

**THANKS**:

charley07: And the story missed you. He will continue to go crazy. Especially after you hear Jude.

modernxxmyth: LOL. Yes, it is. And yeah, I don't think I'd want to be Tommy.

PickyFan: You'll find out about their past in this chapter. There is a reason and Jude explains it. I'm posting now.

duckie2011: Thank you!

letitrain810: LOL. Very true on all points. Tommy tries to save face, but I think we all know that Jude would wear the pants in their relationship. The past will be answered in this chapter. I'm posting now.

Forbidden Words: I'm glad you like this. I'm posting now!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Jay Leno or The Tonight Show.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Ten

"Working With…"

So. Tommy.

Working with Tommy?

Um, I don't know what to say. He's Tommy and I'm Jude.

Isn't that enough?

I mean what else is there to say? We don't get along.

We – God, I'm a liar.

It's not enough.

It doesn't even hit the surface of why we are the way we are when we're around each other.

I have to do this.

I think it's time. I think I've been avoiding this subject for far too long.

You know how some things, given time, just eat away at you? Things that you wish you could just scream out, but can't. For fear – fear of what others will think? Of how it'll change things?

Well, I can't hold this in anymore.

I wish I could. But I think I need to let people know. I mean, I don't have to, I know that.

But it's affecting my music.

And that – that **cannot** happen.

My music is everything. And I need to let this out.

I know that when people see all of these confessions they're going to think, how can she hate him so much? How can she not want to work with him? Why does she have to be such a bitch?

Because I have to.

God, I can't believe I'm going to say this. There are only two people in this world that have even a clue as to what this whole thing is about: Sadie and my therapist.

And now you will too.

So here goes…

Come on, Jude. Just say it.

Just say it.

Breathe.

Just say it, damnit.

Okay.

I loved Tommy.

And not like school boy or boy bander crush.

Like full-fledged-would-die-to-keep-him-mine love.

And he broke my heart.

Ha. Wow.

That feels so good to get that out.

It's like a weight has been lifted. I can breathe.

Well…I –

Anyway, I guess you wanna know that story then, huh? Here that is…

A small amount of die-hard fans may already know that Quincy was my first producer. If you don't, well, there you go.

When I won Instant Star, Georgia asked him to produce me and through some miracle, he said yes.

We were rocky at best when we met. Hell, we're still rocky.

Anyway, despite being rocky, we had the most amazing musical chemistry. It was impenetrable.

He was a flippin' musical genius. He could finish my thoughts; literally and figuratively.

I could find a chord progression that worked, he'd tweak it just right and it would instantly turn into what I was hearing in my head.

He'd finish my lyrics when I couldn't find the right words.

What was even better, he knew and shared my love of coffee.

And sometimes sleep. I looooooooove sleep.

And thus began the internal battle I had about Tommy. I couldn't love him. He had once been everything I despised about music. And then magically turned out to be everything I had ever dreamt of.

But it didn't matter.

I was 15 and he was 22.

And even in the industry, I don't think those numbers were acceptable.

So I kept it under wraps.

Until my 16th birthday.

Everyone knows the story about Shay and how he cheated on me with Eden, so I don't have to go there.

What few people know is that is that night I kissed Tommy. It was also the night he broke my heart.

After we kissed, he told me I had to pretend it never happened or we couldn't work together anymore.

I wasn't about to lose him from my life, so I agreed and said it didn't happen.

Then I fled.

But I didn't get far.

I ran outside and slumped against one of the walls of G-Major, letting the rain pour down on me as if it was going to wash away all the pain I felt. But it didn't.

My sister, Sadie, came to pick me up because my parents had left and I couldn't hold it in.

I know that some people say that one of the greatest things about rain is that no one can tell that you're crying.

But Sadie knew.

And she knew it wasn't just all about Shay either.

So I told her.

And I messed up. Really really bad.

What happened next was probably the one and only thing I will ever regret in my entire life.

Tom was standing outside, ready to leave, when he heard us talking.

So he stayed, listening to us from the shadows. And I told Sadie what he had said.

The second after I told her, he walked into the parking lot. Right in front of us.

He glanced over his shoulder and looked at me.

Just looked at me. And didn't say anything.

Then he got into his Viper and left.

I can still see his face when I go to sleep at night. It scares the shit out me, to this day.

His face was void of all emotion. His eyes: completely and utterly blank.

It was the first time in the entire time that I had known him that I couldn't tell what he thinking about because I couldn't read his eyes.

The next day he was gone.

Producing an artist in Los Angeles.

He had told Georgia that he had gotten an offer from Darius and was going to take him up on it. She never pressed him and let him go.

I got another producer the following week. It's his name that's on my first album because all of the tracks were redone under his supervision.

It was as if Tommy had never been there.

But I knew better.

And a month and a half later, my first album was done. And I was going on tour.

I never looked back. I thought about him every night for months, wondering what he was doing, seeing, thinking.

On the outside, I had never been happier. But inside, I was dying.

And then I got the news my parents were divorcing. While I was on tour.

So while I sat on the tour bus and cried until I had nothing else left, everyone thought it was because of my parents.

But they were only half right.

I was crying because I hated myself.

Because despite everything I had said and done, I knew it wasn't Tom's fault entirely.

Yeah, he left. Yeah, he told me to forget it.

But if I hadn't opened my mouth…he would still be here.

I mean, he would have been there.

For when I needed him the most.

But I had no one. Sadie was at college. My best friends were back home. And I was on a smelly tour bus with three teenage boys who tried their best to make me smile by having armpit farting contests.

Wally always won, just in case you were wondering.

I came back from tour, a new girl. Sometimes I liked to think I had become a woman. Grown up and mature. But I don't know if that was true.

Considering I practically blamed him for my first album tanking.

A part of me still does.

And probably always will.

But I got over it. To an extent.

I played the mask game with everyone again.

I was the happy rocker who cried in the bathroom for hours before going to sleep when she got home.

So I dove right back into writing and starting a second album.

And then, all hell broke loose. You might remember this part and now you'll know how it fits in this story.

Tommy was on The Tonight Show about nine months after he left. I, of course, was glued to the television set, hanging on every word.

Jay had decided to play a little game with him.

He would play a snippet of a song, along with song information and Tommy was told to give his first impression.

By then, I was almost a household name with my second album almost completed.

And Jay decided to play "White Lines."

I think I was practically falling out of my chair at that point. Once my name was mentioned, Tommy's demeanor completely changed and I should have noticed it wasn't good. Because if I thought that him kissing me and asking me to say it didn't happen was hard to digest, I was wrong.

His words were exactly this, "Horrible. Lackluster. Mediocre. The girl needs to get out of this business because she's not meant for it."

I was so grateful I was home alone night. I sat there, blankfaced and was subconsciously able to shut off the television set as the camera panned from Jay's shocked expression to Tommy's smug smile.

I remember walking upstairs, taking a scorching hot shower and then going to bed, only to cry myself to sleep.

I finally woke up, two days later, to about a hundred voicemails and messages from various people.

And it was then that I decided I didn't want to play the sad girl card anymore. That I was strong enough to hold my own when it came to people. People like Tom Quincy.

The media hounded me for months, trying to get a statement out of me. Something that would make me look like a deranged person, someone who valued Tom's opinion way too much so she had to say something outrageous to get back at him.

I didn't have anything. No one knew the back story on us. And I didn't want to fuel any rumors.

But I did say something.

Something I'm still not that proud of, but I don't really care about it as much now.

I looked into some news channel's camera and said, "Fuck Lil' Tommy Q."

The next day it became the slogan of many of my fan clubs.

I don't think I will ever live that statement down.

And that's why I'm like this.

Because though I can admit to myself – and to my therapist – that I was even partially at fault, I can't when it comes to him.

I can't tell him that I know I shouldn't have said anything.

I can't tell him that I loved him.

That there is still a small part of my heart attached to him.

And because I can't, I've gone to the other side.

I'm this hardened chick who everyone deems a Diva only because she was sick of people thinking otherwise.

She was sick of having to be fake.

Now I don't care what people think.

I do what's best for me. And that's that.

Maybe one day I'll be able to tell Tommy how I feel. I don't know.

What I do know is that I want to get this album done. I want it to be great.

I want to make great music with Tommy Quincy.

There.

There's your next headline. Your next whatever.

I don't care.

I just want to move on.

* * *

**A/N**: Next Chapter: The Body – Working With…Jude.

Tommy's turn to tell you how he feels about Jude. When they work together, of course. _Right._


	13. C11: The Body: Working With

**A/N: **So…almost seven months – that's a long time, right? Yeah, well – I had a lot of stuff going on. Lame, I know. Then I realized that my outline for this story got corrupted on my laptop when I messed it up all those months ago. So I am winging it – hence the absence. I know the general ideas/plot lines, but some of the significant "Jommy" relationship stuff is lost – I guess I'll have to wing that too. (When I say "Jommy" relationship – I mean them being friends and getting over all the junk from the last chapter and this one).

Anyway, I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter (if you even remember what it was – LOL). Tommy is definitely not as thorough as Jude, but there is something significant from this chapter that will get explained more in another chapter. It's important, but like I said – Tommy isn't as thorough as Jude so he doesn't realize he's saying anything important – it just is to him.

Now let's see what Tommy has to say…

**THANKS**:

charley07: I'm so glad you loved it. I can't blame her either. Tommy doesn't have much to say, but it is significant.

modernxxmyth: LOL. Thanks! She has a lot to say. I couldn't do that to him. LOL. I already have a nice plot line that will freak him out plenty.

kates007: I know – finally. He doesn't say much, but eventually it will be drama.

chocolateelephantz: Just a tad bit. Yes, they have an interesting relationship, I guess. LOL. Yay! Jommy? What is that exactly? LOL. There will be something…but Jommy…I guess that remains to be seen.

love2burn4tim: No, I didn't – purposefully. Tommy is definitely not a man of many words right now.

alexzrules: I'm glad. I feel a bit sad for her as well. Bad song choice for Jay, but I love it. LOL. Telling All is not really Tommy's thing, but eventually he'll have to. Me too! It's totally understandable. Just a bit, yes.

duckie2011: Tommy has a reason for it – not the best, but this is Tommy we are talking about. LOL.

letitrain810: Yes, she has an excuse – Tommy, I guess. He'll reveal why in this chapter – it's not what you think. Here is the chapter.

Princess of the Rogues: Yes. LOL. I know – it took awhile. I'm glad you loved it.

jcool789: Thank you! I'm glad you love it.

bbybty9: LOL. Just a tad bit. Maybe he does. :D

Jenn6891: Thank you for loving this story. I had to keep the first season stuff there. I needed it. LOL.

Dark-Wiccan-Goddess: I always say that. It's such a fun phrase. LOL. Wow. That says a lot. LOL.

Dark-Wiccan-Goddess: I'm sorry! I'm updating now!

GracieLacey: Yay for new readers! Thank you! I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry it's taken so long, but I hope during Break I can update again. Thank you for reading!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Jay Leno or The Tonight Show.

R&R or R&L please.

**THANKS MUCHO!**

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Eleven

"Working With…"

Well, you know when I had to do the confession about myself a couple weeks ago and I told you there would be an entire confession dedicated to what I think about Jude? Well, this is it, in a sense.

I mean, technically, I'm suppose to talk about what it's like to work with her, but it's basically the same thing. I guess. Whatever.

The only problem is I don't know what to say. I don't know what to tell you. I know Jude has already done this and I guess I'm worried. Maybe even a little afraid.

I mean – God, this is hard.

Okay, I'll start with the simple.

We don't get alone. That much is obvious, but then there is always the _why_? Right?

_Why_ don't we get along?

It's because of me. Plain and simple.

I left her when she needed me the most. And it really really messed her up.

And now you are probably wondering how any of this started…how I even had the chance to leave, right?

Well, I, surprisingly, used to produce Jude. When she had first won Instant Star. G-Major's owner, Georgia, is a friend of mine and she helped me out by letting me work for her once I left BoyzAttack.

So when I started producing for her, I became a star. The media found out I was working the board instead of behind the mic and they had a field day. I wasn't a wash out anymore.

Then I got the big offer. A record deal. Something I had been praying for since I left BoyzAttack.

By the time the deal had been offered, Instant Star was over and Jude had won and Georgia was asking for _my_ help.

And – I don't know how you'll look at this but – I gave in. She gave me my start. Without her, there wouldn't have even been the chance for a record deal. I would have been nothing.

So I had to. I wanted to.

But then I met Jude and I completely seconded guessed my decision. Ha. I mean, she was a spitfire to no extent. She didn't give in. She was the complete opposite of any girl I had ever met or that had willingly agreed to be in my presence.

She didn't like me or what I supposedly represented in the industry. And I worked very hard to make her see otherwise.

Which is kind of ironic, now that I think about it. She hated me for what I represented – this boybander playboy, yet she's practically become the female version of that now.

She's known as a freakin' celebrity versus a musician and she has the nerve to talk shit? Yeah, right.

Anyway, we worked together up until her 16th birthday. _Worked_ being the operative word because despite how good the music was that we made, she still didn't like me.

It was taking a toll on me to say the least.

And then Darius came into the picture. I mean, he was already there because Jude was dating Shay, but he came into _my_ picture.

He had an up and coming artist he thought I would be perfect for. And he wanted me to produce him.

I was ecstatic to no end. Something bigger and better than what G-Major offered – not that I wasn't thrilled with G-Major. It was my home, but this was something more.

Darius was giving me a second chance in a way and I knew I had to jump on it.

There was only one problem – I didn't know how to tell Jude.

We had gotten to a place where she could finally tolerate being in the same room as me for at least five minutes and I didn't know how she was going to react.

So I kept it to myself for a while, thinking I was going to tell Jude at her party. I mean, I know that's not the best birthday present, but I felt it was right – at the time. Then Shay fucked it all up.

He cheated on Jude with her arch-enemy, Eden. Ha. I have to laugh at that – arch-enemy. It just doesn't fit, but by definition that's what she was.

I could have ringed that little shit's neck and I would have, had I not seen how torn up Jude looked. I had never been Shay's number one fan and Jude knew that, but I didn't think she cared so much.

I decided to hold off the news of me leaving, seeing as she had had enough to deal with, so I tried to comfort her. That might not have been the best idea seeing as that entire night I was seeing her for the very first time. Seriously.

Everything about her heightened my senses – her laugh, her eyes, her smile, her smell. God, she smelled so good. Um…yeah.

I think you can guess what happened next. We kissed.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she liked me – really liked me. She just hid it well. Ha. And I thought I was pretty good at reading people. I guess not.

I didn't know how to process anything, but there was one thing I did know – nothing could happen between us. Nothing.

Nobody would be accepting and I didn't want to mess up things with her or her chance in the industry.

She left – or so I thought – and I decided it would just be better to go home and deal with the mess the next day. But that never happened.

I over heard Jude talking to Sadie and she had told Sadie everything – _everything_. Even after I asked her not to. I know she's stubborn, but I thought that maybe, just maybe, she would have understood what I was trying to tell her.

I guess I was wrong.

But instead of trying to fix the wrong and make it right – I made it worse. I made the biggest jackass move of the century – I just left. I left her birthday party and never came back.

Until now that is.

I went to LA and produced the artist Darius had asked me to. He was an indie rocker named Jimmy and we worked well together.

I figured that it would be better for both of us if I just left – not starting anything that we would both regret later, you know? I tried hard not to think about Jude while I was out there, but it was hard. She was everywhere.

Eventually I let myself keep tabs on her – just to keep my sanity. It worked. Sort of.

When Jude's second album was near completion, I was asked to appear on The Tonight Show to talk about Jimmy's first album. I was getting fairly popular in the US with all of my producing, so they wanted my opinion.

I played a game with Jay – he would play a snippet of a song, along with the song information and I had to give my first impression.

Everything was going fine until he played "White Lines."

I mean, in my defense, I'm not that big of a jackass. Really, I'm not. But well…

Earlier in the day I had found out some unsettling news – about my life before LA. When Jude was in the picture.

I knew that Darius had wanted me to produce Jimmy for awhile and I knew he only wanted me on the job. I was flattered obviously, but what I didn't realize is that he was going to do anything in his power to get me to come to LA.

Anything.

Like, oh I don't know – stage a break-up?

He had Shay pretend to cheat on Jude which led to one of the biggest break ups the Toronto music industry has ever seen. The only thing he didn't realize was that the feelings on both sides were real.

I had always known Darius was perceptive – that he saw things that no one else had shared with anyone. He had noticed how close Jude was getting to me and he knew that the bond was going to cause problems.

So when Jay had played "White Lines," I freaked, immediately thinking of how much chaos my move had caused and I said some things about Jude that I shouldn't have. I took my pain out on her.

In hindsight, I definitely regret it, but it made for some really awesome music. Ha.

Not funny?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

If I had just told Jude from the get go that I was leaving, and then maybe things wouldn't be so hard now.

I don't know. Maybe it would be worse.

I just really wish we could get over this. I really do. Because I really like Jude. I don't know if it's still the same kind of like from before, but there is something about her that I can't let go. Even now.

I don't think I want to.

I just wish she saw that.

Somehow, someway I am going to make us work – whether it's just music or something more – I'm going to do it.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.


	14. C12: The Diva: Excuse The Absence

**A/N**: I know it's been forever. I'm really sorry. I've finally got things worked out on my end, so it's just a matter of writing everything. Thank you so much for being so incredibly patient! I'm uploading both Ch. 12 and 13 cause they're both so short. Sorry about that.

**THANKS**:

Samara04: I'm super sorry it's taken this long to get another chapter out. I'd just like to thank you for your continued support. Thanks for not giving up on this story! Don't worry, your English is great! :]

ellie141516: This story is no where near it's end, so I'm just going to continue until I get there. But they will eventually get to know how the other feels.

shadylady21: I'll definitely finish it. It'll just take me awhile. As usual. ;]

bbybty9: LOL. He'll never learn until it's too late. Yes, I am. Jude will find out eventually.

GracieLacey: I'll try to update faster. -_-

K: Thank you! I'll try to update sooner rather than later.

Guest: I am! I won't!

**Disclaimer**: I got nothing.

**R&R or R&L please.**

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Twelve

"Excuse The Absence"

Miss me?

I know, I know. This is long overdue. Sorry about that. The process of this album so far has just about kicked our asses. We're about one song away from being done. So close yet so far.

But I wanted to drop in because things are about to get insane and a lot more…real.

I'm a little nervous. I didn't think this project could get anymore awkward, but it has. I'd say I don't know why, but you know I'd be lying. I know what I said in the last interview, but I don't know if Tommy confessed to it. So we've spent the last two months tip-toeing around each other. There's this big elephant in the room and it's kind of sad in a way. We're both adults, yet neither one of us want to give in and say anything. I guess we're just prideful people.

Can you blame us?

Anyway, one of the main reasons I'm here is because this little project Tommy and I are doing is about to get larger than life.

My birthday is in two days and seeing that I'm part of Darius' world again that means a big birthday extravaganza. It's also free press because he's announcing our little project to the world and to seal my coffin, he's also decided that Tommy is going to be my date.

I'm conflicted on a lot of things, mainly the whole Tommy being my date thing considering there's that chance that we'll kill each other before people get to sing Happy Birthday to me. But really it's the announcement that we're working together.

We've been stuck in this little bubble for the past few months and now the whole world is gonna know. I know it hasn't been exactly comfortable, but there has been some underlying comfort. That we didn't have to share with other people. It was just ours.

Eww, am I getting all sentimental in regards to working with…Tommy, of all people?!

Gross, Jude.

Get it together.

It's not him, guys. It's the idea of him. Or something like that.

Whatever.

Anyway, I hope you guys will be supportive of this venture and if you're not, you're welcome to drink lots and lots of Grey Goose with me. I think that's the only way I'll survive the shit storm that's about to come.

Happy fucking birthday to me.


	15. C13: The Bad Boy: Back In Business

**A/N**: Here's Chapter 13. Chapter 14 is actually going to be a look at Jude's birthday party. I thought about Jude and Tommy telling you about it, but I wanted it in third person so you could see as much as possible. I won't tell you more cause I'd be ruining some stuff, so just read this chapter and hopefully 14 will be up soon! Thanks for all your support.

**Disclaimer**: Ms. Special is mine. ;]

**R&R or R&L please.**

**THANKS MUCHO!**

* * *

**ROCK 'N' ROLL SINGER: The Uncensored Confessions**

Chapter Thirteen

"Back In Business"

Hello, Folks!

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Well, it might not feel like it to you since you're watching these interviews one right after another…I hope. But now you all know the BIG NEWS. Some news, right?! Like a part of your wildest dreams?! Yeah, that's what I thought.

Anyway, you're already caught up. All the stuff that you didn't see that came before the big announcement you should already know. So let's recap.

Jude and I are working together on an album. Jude and I don't like each other. Jude and I kissed some years ago.

Yep, that's basically the gist of it.

Oh, right.

Jude's birthday party just passed. And by passed, I mean it's been about a week. A very long, hellish week. The party wasn't as bad as I thought it was, but the aftermath has been…damn. It's been crazy. I don't how many times I've had to fake a smile and say I'm happy about working with Jude. Interview after interview after interview…all for you.

By you, I mean the general you. Not the fan you. Because let's face it, I wouldn't be here without you. So should I blame you now or later for making me work with Jude again? Ha.

Really we can just blame it on my stupid mouth. Jude probably does.

It hasn't been all bad though. I might have met a special lady. No, it's not Jude. Ha. You know what I mean. Jude will always be special, but it's really not her I'm talking about. I met this chick at Jude's birthday party actually. It's a little kismet, I think. Wait, was that a girly thing to say? Hahahaha. Whatever. I won't say any more. I don't want her to get scared off too soon. She hasn't even seen my Manjella collection yet!

See, Jude! I _can_ joke about my hair! Somehow she thinks I'm too sensitive. I have no idea what she's talking about.

And speaking of Jude, we're mixing parts of the album today. Surprisingly we're haven't bit each others' heads off yet. It's kind of nice. But it is only noon, so I guess I shouldn't count my chickens before they've hatched, right?

I guess I should get back in there and finish up before Jude comes for me. Until next time, guys!


End file.
